The day that Matthew was born will be one that will stick with me forever. My daughter was only nineteen. I was a nervous wreck. Troy had called and asked me to bring something up to the hospital. I did, and ended up staying. I thought for sure she would ask me to leave before the actual birth. But she didn’t. I am so grateful for that moment in time when I saw the birth of my grandson. I had never seen anything as amazing as childbirth. If I didn’t believe in a higher power, that instant in time would have changed my unbelief. I fell in love with Matthew at first sight. Michelle and Troy were living with me at the time, so I had many opportunities to spend with him, adoring the little infant that was my grandson. I was amazed at everything he did, every time he smiled, every time he made a noise, every move he made. When they talk about love hurting, this was it. I loved him so much, I ached. I would try to imagine him as a little boy, and older. I prayed to God that he would always stay safe, and I started to worry. I suddenly couldn’t imagine life without him. Maybe I worried more because he wasn’t my child, he was my daughter’s child, and she was little more than a child herself. She and Troy had to grow up quickly. I was just glad that it was under my roof.
They took Matthew to New Orleans when he was six months old to visit Troy’s parents. I missed him so much. I think he missed me, too. When Matthew was really cranky, Michelle would call and put the phone to Matthew’s ear while I read “Snuggle Puppy of Mine” to him, a book I read to him so often that I had it memorized. He would calm down instantly.
I always dreaded the day Matthew would get too old for me….too old to sit on my lap, too old to hug me, too old to stay at Grandma’s house. He will be ten in a couple of months, but every once in awhile, he will come to sit half on my lap, half on the edge of my chair to show me something or just to snuggle. The other day he got angry with me for changing a radio station in the car that he had just put on (he didn’t realize that I was trying to save it on one of the dials so it would always be there at the push of a button). A few minutes later, I got a hug from him that never seemed to end. I didn’t want it too. I cherish those moments.
Matthew and I share a special bond. I think (I hope) we always will.