Truth is…..this is scary! I know I can write a good letter, or so I’ve been told. Letters have become outdated, so it’s been awhile. In the last couple of years, I have written short notes on birthday cards to an aunt in Florida, sent a picture/note to a cousin prematurely living in a nursing home, and a couple of kairos letters to nieces and nephews going on a retreat with their high school peers. The kairos letters were definitely the hardest and took the most time to compose.
As a little girl, I wanted to play the piano. My best friend took piano lessons, and I envied her. She only had one sibling, so money wasn’t an issue. When you are one of six, money (and piano lessons) are not as easy to come by. So I didn’t get piano lessons. While in college, I took a children’s music course, and had my first stab at piano lessons (sort of). I can remember the song I practiced to perfection, and more than that, I remember the feeling, a feeling of true contentment. I didn’t continue with lessons after that music course. Lack of time, I suppose. I bought a piano for my daughter and drove her to lessons, but even then, I didn’t take the time to get that feeling back. Time was even shorter.
I always dreamed of writing a book. I sat down a couple of times to attempt something, but never came up with much. Lack of time, again. Or that is what I tell myself. Just like those kairos letters and piano lessons, maybe it’s not time at all. Maybe it’s a fear of not being good enough, a fear of being judged. or maybe it’s a fear of becoming addicted. Fear or time, or both? I may find out soon….given time.